Friday, July 24, 2009

Cankles aren't just for women.

No sir.
Even I, a male dog, have cankles!

Some, including and perhaps most importantly myself,
think they are lush and beautiful.
But they are not in vogue or alignment with the current
female beauty aesthetic
which encourages women to liposuction away the offense.
Oh yes they did. Just this morning on NBC.

What, you ask, are CANKLES?
The Urban Dictionary offers this....

The area in affected female legs where the calf meets the foot in an abrupt, nontapering terminus; medical cause: adipose tissue surrounding the soleus tendon, probably congenital, worsened by weight gain and improved in appearance only by boots. A reference to a pair of legs that have no defined end of the calf area as well as no defined beginning.

1) An aesthetically unfortunate physiological condition which leaves its victims with no discernable narrowing of the ankle between the calf and the foot.
2) An ankle which has no discernable narrowing from the calf to the foot. History: The word is derived a combination of the words calf and ankle.

Also known as “peasant ankles” for the ostensible stability and hardiness afforded by the wide, steady base of the legs, which aids in long hours of tillage and harvesting. As such, the condition is most prominent in women of Russian or Italian ancestry. It is the condition where the ankle girth is equal to or indiscernibly less than the girth of the widest part of the calf. It is not ankle fat per se, but rather a state of being “big-boned” in the ankle region while simultaneously experiencing gross muscle atrophy of the gastrocnemius.

Victims of this condition are advised to avoid the following: ankle boots, ankle-strap shoes, anklets, ankle socks, ankle tattoos, high-top shoes, and any other footwear or legwear that might draw attention to the cankle region.

The term in

"Svetlana and Sophia both have classic cases of cankles -- their calves are the same width from knee to foot. So while they work in the richest and free-est nation in the world they are paid 70 cents on the dollar. This is fair because while they might be bright contributors their aesthetically unfortunate cankles are always present when ever and where ever they are.
So they are worthless, ops - worth less...
oh! you know what I mean.

"If I didn't have cankles, I might be able to wear those
Prada loafers with my capri pants.

But it seems a waste of time to dress up for
potato planting and barn mucking.

Fashion-free Man 1: "That girl's wasting her time on the calf machine at the gym--
there ain't no cure for cankles"

Fashion-free Man 2: "Hopefully she'll marry a farmer"


Be they fluffy, be they sheared, my beautiful cankles get me where I want to go.
So I rejoice in them. I use and admire them. My advice?
Ignore the self appointed "Fashion Aesthetic PoPo".
Flaunt your stable hardiness with pride.
Take a page from the fellas.
Embrace your lovely cankles Ladies!

Men embrace theirs,
along with their beer bellies, waddles, love handles and ear hair.
And no one bats and eye.

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